Communication Requires One Person to Talk and Equally Important, the Other to Listen
Listening is the other half of communication. Our first thought, when we think about communication, may be to consider the speaker’s ability to convey ideas effectively. What we often forget is that without a listener the speaker may as well be talking to the wind. Just as effective speaking is an acquired skill, so is good listening. Some do it better than others. But all of us can learn to enrich our own listening skills.
Listening to the Voice in Your Head
Think about what happens when you hear someone speak. You pay attention to the person’s appearance, to activity in the background, to what you did earlier in the day, to a conversation you had with someone else, or to your counterargument, and how you will present it. Your mind flits from topic to topic as you take in only fragments of what the other person says. It seems a wonder that people understand each other as well as they do. Continue reading »
written by Paul and Layne
\\ tags: communication, listening, Relationships
Full Moon Ceremony
Strange, yet familiar ancient happenings go on around here during the full moon.
Enjoy! As always, your comments and questions are appreciated. You may see more of my images here.
written by Paul Cutright
Note: The following post is from a recent newsletter by David Spangler, a writer and spiritual teacher whose work we have followed from the beginning of our relationship. This piece is relevant to how communication and connection with one another is dramatically changing in the 21st century.
Facefields
by David Spangler – (c) 2010
My youngest daughter, Maryn, has been having a companionable summer palling about with her “posse” of girl friends. They spend most days together, and when they are apart, they are texting each other. One afternoon as she was sitting reading in our living room, her phone kept buzzing as one friend or another sent her a text message. Her own thumbs were in constant motion replying, giving new meaning to the phrase “she was all thumbs.”
I asked her, “Why don’t you and your friends just phone each other and talk. Wouldn’t that be faster and easier?” Continue reading »
written by Paul Cutright
The Secret Temple
Everyone needs a private and secret place in which to commune with Spirit. Having found or created it, it is important to make regular visits to shut out the world and be in peace within your own Soul.
Enjoy! As always, your comments and questions are appreciated. You may see more of my images here.
written by Paul Cutright
\\ tags: buddhist, photo, photography, temple, watercolor
Has anything like this ever happened to you in any of your relationships?
A Simple Misunderstanding
Kevin had what he thought was a mild misunderstanding with Melissa over a missed appointment. It seemed like the issue had been resolved with an acknowledgment of no fault miscommunication and an apology from Kevin. But, Kevin didn’t feel like it was over, even though Melissa said she wasn’t really upset. Frustrated and disappointed were the words she used, but not upset.
Melissa’s smile seemed forced and it felt like there was more that she wanted to say, but Melissa insisted they forget about it and move on. Still, Kevin had an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach that made him wary of Melissa. Continue reading »
written by Paul and Layne
\\ tags: communication, emotions, incongruence, misunderstanding
Painterly Chinese Lanterns
Last week I saw this unusual flora hanging from a tree while walking on Canyon Road with Layne and our friend Elaine visiting from the UK. Canyon Road is a major art area here in Santa Fe with many galleries stretching the length of the street. Santa Fe has over 300 galleries and is the third largest art market in the US after New York and Los Angeles.
Enjoy! As always, your comments and questions are appreciated. You may see more of my images here.
written by Paul Cutright
The Ten Essential Skills for Co-Creating Conscious Completion
Completing relationships is often one of the most painful experiences of life. Because of this, people tend to avoid dealing with completion altogether. There are four ways we have observed that relationships can be completed; death, drifting apart, abrupt expulsion or ejection from the relationship and conscious completion. Sometimes completion is only about changing the form of the relationship and recreating it, not necessarily the end of the relationship altogether. A good example of this is when parents divorce; they are still responsible for co-parenting. Consequently they are remaining in relationship, albeit a different form than marriage and romance.
When people drift apart, it is often because there were things they were afraid to talk about. The cumulative effect of avoiding important conversations about difficult issues is emotional numbing and distancing. Often, the eventual outcome is drifting apart. Geographical distance can also lead to drifting apart, as well as a lack of common interests. Continue reading »
written by Paul and Layne
\\ tags: communication, completion, feelings, Relationships, value
Prayer Flags in the Breeze
The Tibetan prayer flags outside my office at sundown. Enjoy!
As always, your comments and questions are appreciated. You can see more of my images here.
written by Paul Cutright
Last week we learned about the five different kinds of beliefs (Basic, Personal, Authority, Derived and Inconsequential) and which ones can be changed (Personal, Authority, Derived). We were also introduced to Terri, who has just been let down by a man, one more time. And we saw the beliefs Terri has that were triggered by this most recent betrayal.
Now, let’s get down to it and see how to change those undesirable beliefs!
In Terri’s situation, in which she felt betrayed and was lied to by her fiancé, we asked this question: “What kind of beliefs would Terri have to have to create the experience of betrayal and being lied to?” We mentioned two possibilities; I can’t find a man who will love me the way I want and men are untrustworthy liars. It’s also possible that Terri has a belief that she is not lovable and/or does not deserve a lasting, loving relationship. Or that love doesn’t last. Or the men she loves don’t love her.
Terri can begin to change these beliefs in two ways. One is with the use of affirmations and the other is with “choice statements”. Continue reading »
written by Paul and Layne
