Jul 29

Has anyone ever asked you, “How are you doing?”, and it’s a day when you’re not at your best?
You don’t want to be a downer, nor do you want to discuss it. So, you lie and say “I’m great!” 

All of us have experience with this, our culture has trained us how to pretend and save face. If this automated response was costing you more than you have ever thought possible, would you want to know about it?

Soulful relationshipsfractal_ammonite2 are grounded in trust. When you connect with others in a soulful way there is no room for pretense. As our capacity for soulful connection deepens, so does our capacity to feel others feelings. If people are deceiving themselves or others it becomes a glaring incongruity. And old conditioned ways of looking the other way until it has passed simply don’t cut it anymore. We can’t fool people the way we used to, they can see right through a smiling façade.

Evolutionary communities that are dedicated to bring forth the highest and best in everyone involved, quickly face a new challenge of social harmony. How do we create a safe space for honesty at all times when many of the folks in the community are going through a healing process that’s emotionally messy? You know all that deep stuff that has to come up and out, before you can integrate a liberating spiritual truth into your physical and emotional body. You know those uncomfortable socially unacceptable feelings like fear, grief, despair, anger and the most socially unacceptable of all, self-loathing.

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written by Layne Cutright \\ tags: , , , , , ,

Jul 22

This post is short and immediately useful.

​Give yourself a reality check on your relationships . . .

Hidden Workings of the Universe

Are you practicing soulful relating as much as you could? We took a look at what practices have yielded the most value over our 38 years of practicing evolutionary relationships. We came up with our ten favorites.

The hallmark of evolutionary relationships is deep, spiritual connection. It is a relationship dedicated to the personal evolution of everyone involved. 

You can download the PDF of these 10 practices at the bottom of the page and print it out to use as a self-check  - or - you could use it to discuss with people who are important to you and share your ideas about it with one another. Or both ;-)


1. See problems as opportunities.

Every problem contains the gift of spiritual development within it. Learn to un-wrap
the package by looking at what you might be learning out of the difficulty.

2. Nurture a conscious relationship with your Soul.

The more spiritually attuned you are, the more enlightened you and your partnerships will be.

3. Make choices grounded in love rather than fear.

Become aware of your automatic reactions that are based in fear and look for the
love choice instead. Ask yourself, what would love do or say in this situation?

4. Mutually agree upon strategies for dealing with predictable breakdowns.

Use them when needed for miscommunications, upsets or disagreements. It’s important to have these strategies in place before the breakdowns occur. It is difficult, if not impossible,
to create and implement them in the middle of a breakdown.

5. Commit to win/win outcomes; don't settle for anyone being the loser.

For the partnership to win, all partners need to win. If anyone in the partnership loses, the entire partnership loses. Keep asking questions that lead you to the win/win outcome.

6. Communicate honestly from the heart and practice high performance listening.

People respond positively to the expression of heart-felt truth because it builds trust, even if they don't agree with it. High performance listening is listening without judgment for the
concerns of the other person that may be hidden behind their words.

7. Assume personal responsibility for your emotional reality and refrain from blame.

Blame and projection will pollute the emotional climate of a partnership faster than anything.

8. Take the initiative for the satisfaction of your own needs and wants by making clear requests of others that inspire their cooperation.

Don't wait for people to guess what will make you happy. Nobody likes having
to endure demands or covert manipulation.

9. Share power rather than struggle for it.

Let go of the need to be right all the time. Value others ideas and perceptions as being as valid as your own. Heal your unresolved power/authority issues from the past.

10. Write down the purpose and desired results for your partnership.

A partnership without a stated purpose and intended results is like a ship setting sail without a chart or plotted course. The purpose should be stated in a way that lifts the spirit of all partners. The desired results should be clarified as feelings you want to enjoy
in your partnership.

​Click Here to download your Top 10 Practices of Evolutionary Relationships

Your comments and perspectives are always valued here. Please let us know what you think by leaving a comment or question below.

written by Paul and Layne \\ tags: , , , , ,

Jul 17
This entry is part 2 of 2 in the series Personal Stories - Video

Previously in Layne’s video she talked about how surprised she was that such powerful feelings arose within her when I said I loved her and I would never leave her. In this video I talk about what that was like for me and how I was able to be present for her with those powerful feelings by making a simple but powerful shift in my mind. I was able to respond differently to a difficult situation than I had ever been able to do previously.

Click the image below to play.

Please leave a comment or question below because what you have to say can be helpful to us and others, as well.

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written by Paul Cutright \\ tags: , , , ,

Jul 14
This entry is part 1 of 2 in the series Personal Stories - Video

Many of our clients are surprised to to learn how love can bring up anything unlike itself. Simply put, when we are in the presence of someone loving us more than we love ourselves or more than we are used to being loved, it can bring up deep feelings that can cause us to push love away because it is too unfamiliar and appears threatening. Sounds crazy, we know, but it happens all the time!

In this video Layne shares a direct experience of this phenomenon that took her (and Paul) by surprise. Here is a window into a significant event that occurred in the very beginning of our relationship that made the rest of our life together possible. In the next video Paul will share his side of this story.

Click on the image below to play this short video.

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written by Layne Cutright \\ tags: , , , ,

Jan 08

We’re sure you’ve seen all the programs, courses and exhortations about making New Year resolutions and setting your goals to accomplish in the coming year. That is all well and good, as far as it goes. It just doesn’t account for what inevitably happens when we embark on the tasks of goal accomplishment. That’s why we thought it would be a good idea to look at that dreaded guilt tripper procrastination from a slightly more enlightened and expansive perspective.

The following is by David Whyte, the acclaimed poet, author and lecturer originally from the United Kingdom, now living in the Pacific Northwest.

David says . . .

“Procrastination is not what it seems.

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written by Paul Cutright \\ tags: , , , , ,