Do You Know Your Love Codes? – Part 2

Do You Know Your Love Codes?
Part Two

A Community Experiment Thrives

From the start of our personal relationship, we were on a quest to reveal any barriers to a grounded, illuminating, Divine Love. In 1978 we brought this quest to our students. Over time, we observed a particular pattern of choices and predictable emotions that consistently undermine people’s ability to build trust and closeness.

It seems counter intuitive but once explained, people are stunned to realize they suffer from this pattern in their relationships. We call it The Law of Giving. It states: your reasons for giving determine the emotional future of your important relationships. The dark side of giving is sacrifice. On the bright side is the spirit of soulful generosity.

One of the ways of knowing whether the Law of Giving is working for or against you is by answering these questions:

Do You Know What Your Love Codes Are? – Part 1

Do You Know What Your Love Codes Are?
Part One

In 1978, my husband Paul and I started an experiment in deep, accelerated, personal evolution in our living room in Hawaii. Students gathered and something quite remarkable emerged from the complex, intertwined relationships with one another. An intricate web of unconscious relationship patterns was fully illuminated for us and we studied it, 20 hours a week over six years. We could see the invisible creative workings of the relationships of an entire community of several hundred people.

Love Codes Predict Your Relational Future

Upsets As Learning Opportunities

Use Upsets as Opportunities to
Learn Something New About Yourself

giving love

Start with the understanding that upsets are normal, especially in relationships. Not only are they normal, but they are also predictable, inevitable and recurring. That is, they will happen, and they will happen over and over again!

Why? Because most upsets are internal conflicts played out in the dynamics of relationships. Instead of being about what happens in the external world, like the price of gas at the pump, they are about your own feelings and thoughts, like "People are always taking advantage of me."

Are You Projecting?

Learn to Recognize When You're Projecting
and Get Out of Denial

giving love

People talk about denial all the time. No doubt, one of the greatest personal challenges is being able to recognize when you're in denial. By definition, you can't see what you're doing. But, this should help.

First, recognize that projection, one of the sour fruits of denial, is a part of human psychology at this point in our evolution. We all do it and we are likely to keep doing it for the foreseeable future. So, being in an evolutionary relationship or enlightened partnership is not about never projecting. It is about being mindful and self-reflective enough to recognize when you are doing it.

How Do You Know When You’re Loved?

This entry is part 4 of 4 in the series 10 Key Abilities for Creating Successful Relationships

A Little Something for Valentine's Day!

giving love

This week's post is a recorded conversation between Paul and Layne, number four in a series of conversations entitled, 10 Key Abilities for Building Successful Relationships.

How do you know when you're loved? That isn't something most people think about a lot, if at all. But, knowing "how you know" when you're loved really sets you up to win, especially if you can ask for what you want. And it sets the people around you up to win, also.

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