Relationship Savvy Dialogues

Avatar the Movie

We have seen Avatar twice, in 3D both times. Now, we don’t usually go to theatres to see movies. We prefer to see them on DVD in the comfort of our own home. But, having seen the trailers for Avatar and an HBO “behind the scenes” special on the movies writer and director, James Cameron, we thought it might be worthwhile to go see this 2 hour and 40 minute film.

The action takes place in the year 2154 on Pandora, a moon of another planet populated by an amazing race of people called the Na’vi. The Na’vi are a huge people about 15 to 17 feet tall with huge yellow eyes and sparkling  blue/green skin. They also have long tails and an amazing visceral relationship with their physical environment which is lush, colorful jungle of alien plant forms and formidable animal life.

We came away having been deeply moved by the whole experience. Not only is this movie a breakthrough achievement technologically, it is also a story filled with powerful metaphors and symbology that reach deep into the human psyche.

We found Avatar to be a profoundly spiritual story with themes of overcoming seemingly insurmountable obstacles, deep connection with the creative life force that animates all living things and the continuity of consciousness from one form to another.

It is about choices and the consequences of those choices on both a personal and collective scale. It is about life prevailing. It is about our lives and our times right here on planet Earth.

We were as moved the second time as the first, even more, actually. And when we say moved, we mean through the gamut of human emotion with an overriding sense of heartfelt hope and possibility for emerging from the multitude of crises we face on our own planet.

There are two versions of the movie with some theatres showing the 3D version as well as the regular version. If possible, see the 3D version.

You can go here to visit the official Avatar site and watch the trailer. Then, go see the movie, if you haven’t already.

written by Paul and Layne \\ tags: 3D, avatar, metaphor, movie, spiritual, symbology

Fiery Fall Flowers

This is Thanksgiving Week here in the United States, always the last Thursday of November. It’s a time when families and loved ones gather to enjoy one of the biggest meals of the year; turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes, candied yams, peas and corn and salad.

For dessert there could be pumpkin pie or pecan pie or, preferably, both  with whipped cream!

All of that is simply tradition and it’s great, as far as it goes.

The essence of Thanksgiving, though, is to express our sincere feelings of gratitude for all the good that is in our lives. This is especially important during hard times when it may be more difficult to find the good.

Yet, the good is always there, even if we have to look a little more diligently to find it.

Once found, however, there is a very simple and powerful exercise we have used and taught for years that will help you multiply the good you have found, and multiply the feelings of blessing and being blessed that must always accompany true gratitude.

We have done this exercise more times than we can count and it has gotten us through some pretty hard times in the past.

Here it is:

** Gratitude Blessing Exercise **

First, sit quietly for a few minutes and put your attention on your heart center, or heart chakra, in the center of your chest. Breathe deeply and slowly in and out of your heart center until you feel your body and your mind relax a little.

Then, rub your palms together until they get nice and warm and place them over your heart center. Let yourself feel the energy exchange between your hands and your heart.

Now comes the really cool part!

In silence walk around your home and place your hands on the objects in your home; your sofa and chairs, tables, lamps, kitchen counters, walls, doors and windows. Anything you can see that you can touch, lay your hands on them one after the other. Go slow and allow the words of gratitude, blessing and love to arise spontaneously in your mind.

Avoid  trying too hard (or trying at all). This isn’t a race or a contest and there is no hurry to get it done. Let the present moment consume you and the words will come, or not. If no words come, that’s ok, the feeling of it is the most important thing.

As you do so, in your mind’s eye, imagine you can see the energy of love, flowing from your activated heart center, up your chest, across your shoulders, down your arms and out the palms of your hands into whatever you lay your hands upon.

You may also imagine sparkling particles of light flowing out of your hands. It’s okay to pretend it’s happening even if it’s hard for you to  imagine.

Confer your conscious blessing of love and gratitude on them and give thanks for the function they perform in your life. The chairs and sofa for providing a comfortable place to sit and be with friends and family. The walls forholding up the roof and providing shelter from the elements. The lamps for filling your home with light. The kitchen counters and appliances for providing the means for preparing nurturing food.

If you have pets, you can do this with them, too  – they really like it. It also works really well on humans! If it seems a little weird to do with humans you can always do it secretly in the privacy of your own mind when no one is watching — or even if they are!

You always have the power to express your love and gratitude in this way. And when you do, you ignite a highly refined vibration that fills your physical, emotional and mental bodies. This high, refined energy also fills the physical space of your home and is projected into the very matter of whatever you put your attention on and lay your hands on and elevates the very atmosphere you breathe.

When doing this consider the scientific truth that everything you touch is ultimately made of photons, particles of light. All matter is in a quantum state of light and information at its deepest level. It is more than the material we see with our eyes and by engaging in this blessing and gratitude exercise you make yourself available to BE TOUCHED at the deepest, quantum level, as well.

If you can do this in a slow, meditative, patient manner and truly enjoy the experience we predict you will feel differently afterwards.

And you just may set up a powerful vibration that will cause all that you have blessed and given thanks for to expand not only in the quantum realm, but in your own personal world of time and space and relationships, as well.

It’s never too late to give thanks or forgive and there’s no time like the present . . .

No matter where you live, we wish you the blessings of love and gratitude now and always.

If you choose to try this, please leave us a comment below and let us know what your experience was like.

written by Paul Cutright \\ tags: blessing, family, gratitude, love, Paul and Layne, Thanksgiving, tradition, turkey

A little something to get your week off to a really nice start . . .

Here is heart opening beauty and profound wisdom in this simple, touching and inspired message by Wendy Francisco. Bet you can’t watch it without tearing up.

Something more . . .

We have been working on a major project for a long time now, something that will benefit many thousands of people. Including you! In order to help us with the final stages of preparation, we respectfully request a moment of your valuable time to complete a brief survey. 

For your time and trouble we have a couple of gifts for you that you can pick up when you finish the survey. You will receive the recording and handout for our Prosperity PLUS! Teleseminar we did last Spring — AND — an as yet unreleased audio program (2 audios) for accelerated, deep stress release and deep spiritual connection. It’s called The Healing Breath and is a set of powerful affirmations with Super Learning Music that will expand your breathing, your heart, your mind and your connection with Spirit. And who couldn’t use a little of that?!

written by Paul Cutright

“The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance, it is the illusion of knowledge.”
Daniel J. Boorstin, PhD – Author, Historian, Attorney

Unlike learning to drive a car, which you were not born knowing how to do, relationship success seems like it should just come naturally. After all, you were born into relationship and were raised in relationships. You’ve been in relationships of one kind or another your entire life. What could be more natural?

Unfortunately, what comes naturally to many people is not always the wisest choice. For most of us our relationships school was watching how the grownups did it. We modeled our parents for good or ill and our childhood modeling is a force to be reckoned with if we choose to learn to consciously create our own version of happily ever after.

Some of you may not know we still have a private practice. We’ve had a private practice for 30 years and it’s still one of the most satisfying parts of our professional life together. We work with young couples just starting out in life who want to learn what it takes to create a fulfilling relationship. And we work with couples in trouble who have tried everything, and yet the same old problems keep recycling themselves with slight variations.

John and Alice got married right out of college almost twenty years ago. When they came to us Alice was in her early forties and John a few years older. They had three children, two still at home and the oldest was leaving for college.

When they contacted us for help they complained that the romance and feeling connected had long since gone out of their marriage. They had been to a couple of therapists which hadn’t worked out as well as they had hoped. “All we did was keep talking about the same stuff over and over again. And it never really went anywhere.” They had gotten just enough insight to move from the “ignorance is bliss stage” to the “Yikes! I’m not very good at this stage.”

The four stages of learning apply to creating relationships, just as they do to learning to be consistently good at just about anything.

John and Alice were stuck between stages one and two, Unconscious Incompetence and Conscious Incompetence. They would get a burst of enthusiasm to “improve their relationship” and then after they started practicing some new things they would feel frustrated and lose interest, or so it seemed.

What was actually causing the frustration was an unacknowledged judgment that they “shouldn’t” have to be learning at all – they should already know how to do it “right.” They loved each other – why was there any problem?

It’s a mindset they had absorbed from their culture without noticing, and it was getting in the way of being deeply honest with themselves and declaring themselves “beginners” at relationships.

Once they moved beyond that prideful place and allowed themselves to become learners with a beginner’s mind, they felt freer to make mistakes in their practice and then learn from those mistakes. That’s what happens in stage two; you make mistakes because you are growing beyond your comfort zone. You are supposed to make mistakes in stage two. If you aren’t making mistakes you aren’t doing it right.

They developed a new patience with one another and stopped judging themselves for not being as far along as they thought they “should” be. It was a tender moment that day they stopped judging their relationship and decided to love it AND help one another learn.

They decided to make it an adventure rather then something to get through. They had a new determination to practice their new skills regularly and find some new ways of solving old problems.

Pretty soon after that, the silent resignation they had been living with disappeared and they were “lit up from the inside,” as they put it. Of course, it was deeply gratifying for us to watch them let their love for one another take them down a new path of invigorating discovery.

They were actually having a good time with it. Their sessions with us were filled with a new and refreshing good natured humor, the kind that comes from not taking things too seriously. We all laughed a lot and they grew to stage three – Conscious Competence.

The spark of romance was back. The energy of discovery and fun was doing its magic and a renewed vitality was becoming the norm.

And so, they all lived happily ever after, right? You bet, as a matter of fact! Even while the ink was still drying as they kept applying their new skills to rewriting the old script.

There aren’t enough stories of what happily ever after really looks like. We all grew up thinking our love was supposed to be enough. But truly great relationships in these busy and demanding times require extraordinary means.

Essentially, what we really helped John and Alice to do was to create a new future on a path different from the one they had been on their entire lives. They hadn’t known they could do that . . . and then they learned.

Questions to ponder for comment: 

1. What was new for you in this post?
2. What was validated for you in this post?
3. How can you use what you learned in this post?
4. Do you have any questions about this post?

written by Paul and Layne \\ tags: coaching, conscious incompetence, growth, learning, Relationships, unconscious incompetence