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The First Photo Paul Ever Made of Me - 1977
I was 23 years old and for two weeks straight I had been putting myself to sleep trying to figure out a painless and tidy way to end my life.
I could no longer bear the anguish of a breaking heart. I had to find a way to escape this “aching forever alone place” I was trapped in.
I remembered a place in San Francisco my roommate had taken me to visit. There were counselors there – nice people. One day I lifted my head up from the pile of used Kleenexes that had soaked up my tears and despair and reached for the phone.
“I’ve been thinking of ways to kill myself.”
A warm male voice answered, “How soon can you get here?”
I drove the thirty minutes into the city, crossing the Golden Gate Bridge. That was a trip that changed the course of my life. Theta House was the colorful, Victorian home of Leonard Orr, the founder of the Rebirthing Movement. One of his apprentices opened the door for me and I crossed the threshold into a mélange of unparalleled spiritual ideas. Here was where I would begin to learn the secrets of love and power.
I learned that the hurt in my heart wasn’t caused by my bad boy lover. Gabriel was my first love. We met when I was 17 and we had broken up and gotten back together more times than I could count. It was an addictive, high drama relationship that was destroying me and I still couldn’t let it go. He was a self destructive loser and I was in love with his potential.
