The movie below was created as an assignment for a digital storytelling program in which participants were to create a short movie about a personal spiritual experience. In fact, it is about an experience I had following one of my early Rebirthing experiences in a hot tub at Theta House.
I had to write the script, select the images and music and record the voice over. It was curiously easy and all consuming for me. You could know me for 50 years and never hear me tell this story. It is so deeply personal, repeating it over and over again would have ruined it for me.
I’m glad I found an artistic way of sharing it that brought new life to the memory of the first time I heard my Soul speak to me. I hope you enjoy it.
I was 23 years old and for two weeks straight I had been putting myself to sleep trying to figure out a painless and tidy way to end my life.
I could no longer bear the anguish of a breaking heart. I had to find a way to escape this “aching forever alone place” I was trapped in.
I remembered a place in San Francisco my roommate had taken me to visit. There were counselors there – nice people. One day I lifted my head up from the pile of used Kleenexes that had soaked up my tears and despair and reached for the phone.
I dialed the number for Theta House.
“I’ve been thinking of ways to kill myself.”
A warm male voice answered, “How soon can you get here?”
I drove the thirty minutes into the city, crossing the Golden Gate Bridge. That was a trip that changed the course of my life. Theta House was the colorful, Victorian home of Leonard Orr, the founder of the Rebirthing Movement. One of his apprentices opened the door for me and I crossed the threshold into a mélange of unparalleled spiritual ideas. Here was where I would begin to learn the secrets of love and power.
I learned that the hurt in my heart wasn’t caused by my bad boy lover. Gabriel was my first love. We met when I was 17 and we had broken up and gotten back together more times than I could count. It was an addictive, high drama relationship that was destroying me and I still couldn’t let it go. He was a self destructive loser and I was in love with his potential.
This is one of my favorite pictures of Layne. I made this image of her during our first year together when we were in New York City to lead The Loving Relationships Training in 1977.
We were starting a grand adventure full of hope and promise. Who could have known how it would all unfold, even as it is still unfolding?
