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today, we said, “I do.” And we still do!
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I sat next to the bed of old man, a friend for over twenty years, and held his hand. Hal was dying. We both knew these next few days would be his last.
We spent time reminiscing about his long and fruitful career as a church pastor. We talked about old friends. We chatted about his family. And I listened as he offered sage wisdom and advice to a member of a “younger generation.”
At a lull in the conversation, Hal seemed to carefully consider what he was about to say next. Then he squeezed my hand, gazed intently into my eyes and whispered, just loud enough for me to hear, “Nothing is more important than relationships.” I knew that this was somehow near the pinnacle of his life’s learnings. As he considered all of his experiences — personal, professional, spiritual and family, this one ultimate observation surfaced above the rest: “Nothing is more important than relationships.”
“Don’t get overly caught up in your career,” he seemed to be saying to me. “Likewise, don’t use people in order to achieve your goals, then throw them away. No project, no program, no task should be pursued at the expense of friends and family. Remember,” I heard him saying, as clearly as if he were speaking the words, “that in the end, only your relationships will truly matter. Tend them well.”
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Fiery Fall Flowers
This is Thanksgiving Week here in the United States, always the last Thursday of November. It’s a time when families and loved ones gather to enjoy one of the biggest meals of the year; turkey with stuffing, mashed potatoes, candied yams, peas and corn and salad.
For dessert there could be pumpkin pie or pecan pie or, preferably, both with whipped cream!
All of that is simply tradition and it’s great, as far as it goes.
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If you’ve read “our story” on our website you know just a little bit about a pivotal event in our lives. We revealed a little about a ‘mystical moment’ we shared in 1976 that sparked a romance, a vision and a ‘relationship experiment’ that is still going on today, 33 years later.
But, as you might guess, that’s not the whole story.
Now, we feel compelled to share with you experiences and events that only those closest to us have known anything about.
You see, there have been five distinct passages in our life together and we are now on the threshold of our sixth passage. But, for this imminent passage to make any sense it needs to be threaded to the prior five.
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Layne - My Beloved Angel Who Watches Over Me
This is one of my favorite pictures of Layne. I made this image of her during our first year together when we were in New York City to lead The Loving Relationships Training in 1977.
We were starting a grand adventure full of hope and promise. Who could have known how it would all unfold, even as it is still unfolding?
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If you are anything like we are, you may have the feeling that the world is moving faster and faster. It may feel like more is being required of you than you than ever before. Perhaps you feel challenged in your capacity to pay attention to what is going on in front of you.
In this kind of dynamic, patience and simple kindness are often in short supply as we find ourselves speaking to and treating others, especially those we love most, in ways we don’t really intend.
We share with you here a short, profound little film (5:31) that touched us deeply. We believe, we hope, it will touch your heart, as well. It is entitled What Is That? by Constantin Pilavios. It reminded us of one of the most poetic passages in the Bible from which we took the title for this post. We have included the entire verse below the film.
See what kinds of thoughts and feelings it elicits in you. We would love to read your comments.
