Upsets As Learning Opportunities



6 responses to “Upsets As Learning Opportunities”

  1. Thanks for adding to Paul’s response, it helped clarify some things for me.

    The reaction I have to my husband when I get triggered, frightens me. I seem to react much more strongly than the situation at hand dictates. I totally agree that it is my closest relationship with my husband that triggers my deepest feelings. I also strongly believe that how I deal with difficulties and stressful situations is important for my marriage. I am glad that you have shared what you have learned. I have a strong feeling that I was meant to learn these truths at this time.

  2. Thanks for your response Paul. I ordered your book “You’re Never Upset for the Reason You Think”. I am excited to read it and begin to understand my “bottom line thoughts”.

  3. This may seem like an obvious question, but how do you go about finding the true root of your upsets? Can it be done on your own? Thank you for your emails and thoughts, I am always fascinated with your insights.

    • Thanks for a great question, Lisa. The means for findng the true root of any upset is with our CURE process which we write about in our book, You’re Never Upset for the Reason You Think. CURE stands for Conscious Upset Resolution Exercise for which there is a worksheet to use to learn the thought process that helps you arrive at what we call your “bottom line thought”. That’s the central thought in a matrix of other thoughts, held together by familiar feelings that is the root of an upset. When something happens that triggers that complext of thought and emotion, we feel hurt, sad, angry, confused or whatever. And yes, it is possible to learn to do it on your own. Hope this is helpful.

    • It’s a good question Lisa. I wanted to add this part to Paul’s mention of our book.

      The CURE process evolved from the way Paul and I would be with one another when either of us got triggered. It seems that it is in our closest relationships the deepest feelings are ignited.

      Because our experiment in life was learning how to keep our love alive rather than losing vitality over time, how we navigated difficulties was a crucial part of our experiment.

      Our discoveries were life saving for us. As we shared them with others it seemed to work for them, as though we had discovered a universal truth about the human psyche and spiritual heart. I am certain we wouldn’t be so deeply in love with one another to this day, without this essential knowledge.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *