About Us

Who We Work With

We are here for one simple reason ~ to help you improve the quality of your life through better relationships. If you could describe your relationship in just a few words, what would they be? Feeling distant and disconnected, loss of trust and intimacy, separated or looking at divorce, infidelity, shut down, in a real crisis?

Sometimes people come to us not because there is anything ‘wrong’, but because they sense there is some ineffable something, wanting to emerge and they can’t quite tap into it.

If any of these descriptions apply to you and your relationship, know that we specialize in helping couples navigate uncertainty or tough times with renewed trust and vision regardless of how challenging it may have been. Our clients say our work is transformational because that describes it perfectly! When people complete their work with us, they have acquired uncommon knowledge along with powerful, proven skills and practices for soulful relating.

Soulful relating is both a new and ancient phenomenon. There are couples who have know it throughout recorded history ~ BUT this new capacity is an emerging “new normal” for romantic love. These new skills brings out the best in themselves and their partners from a Soul’s perspective.

If you ​are in crisis you should know ​we have special expertise in “relationship crisis turn around” work. ​We have been guiding couples through these ​significant​ challenges since 1977. ​Most people aren’t aware of the ​new techniques that work quickly to clear relationship pain from your body-mind so, you can think clearly and make wise choices as you navigate the crisis. The choices you make have a critical impact on your future, especially during a crisis – no matter what the cause. We understand how much is at stake and how important it is to have professional and experienced counsel. It is such a relief when you know you have made the right decision to get help. But, finding the right help can feel overwhelming at a time when you already feel overwhelmed.

We work with couples who are either starting their own business or who have had a business for a while. For a romantic partnership to start and run a business together, as fun and exciting as it may sound, it’s important to know there are hidden challenges in the process. It is critical to the success of your business and your personal relationship to be aware of those challenges. Having the distinctions, tools and practices to navigate this dimension of relationship is critical to lasting success. All too often the demands of your business venture eclipses and compromises your intimate, romantic relationship. We can show you ‘new moves’ to avoid this problem.

We work with couples who are on a spiritual path together and who share a noble and altruistic vision for making a difference in the world and the lives of others. Like couples in business, there are complex practical matters requiring clarity and planning to have a successful experience and to make the kind of difference you feel called to make. Grounding spiritual ideas into everyday experiences is essential. Distinguishing practical spiritual principles is a cornerstone of our teachings.

Individuals who have a sense of spiritual mission are some of our favorite clients to work with. We also work with individuals who desire a meaningful, romantic relationship. This could be anyone divorced or widowed as well as someone who has not yet had the experience of being in a successful, lasting relationship for whatever reason. So, if as an individual you want to get the ‘coupling challenge’ handled, we can guide you from a frustrated, wounded heart to your version of deep fulfillment in an intimate relationship.

How Can We Keep Our Love Alive?

Paul and Layne in Hawaii – 1981

Early on we dedicated our relationship to finding out how to keep the love alive in an intimate romantic relationship. We didn’t know what it would take. We didn’t know how we would do it. But, we couldn’t bear to think of our love fading to pain and disappointment as our other relationships had. And now, 40 years later, we can tell you from our deepest heart of hearts, we figured it out. And it’s not because we are special, it’s because we were determined.

Our premise for our experiment was that truth is love’s doorway. We have observed that communication is the backbone of any relationship. If communication falls into complaint, manipulation, making the other wrong, avoidance of important issues, the  silent treatment, etc., the relationship will suffer. But, when you speak your heartfelt

truth, honestly spoken with good intentions, you open the way for a greater experience of love in the relationship.

There is a counter point to this formula, deep listening, being able to listen to your partner with a quiet mind. To bring a soulful presence to someone dear to you, when they are suffering or confuse, helps people use their relationships as containers of healing transformation. The energy of Love itself becomes a conduit for spiritual wisdom. This energy is palpable, it has an essential resonance. When a couple feel this resonance, it becomes a homing beacon that guides their new capacity to greater insight and long lasting solutions. When both parts of a couple can do this, it makes for a strong backbone, making the relationship rich and resilient, even through the most difficult times.

We have observed that good communication is the backbone of any  soulful relationship. If communication is about trying to maintain a false front or making your partner wrong, avoiding  important issues, using the silent treatment, etc., the relationship will suffer. One’s personal truth, honestly spoken in love with good intentions, opens the way for a greater experience of love in the relationship. The capacity to do that, including deep listening, makes the relationship rich and resilient. Initiating courageous conversations when needed, while staying centered in your heart is an essential communication skill to enhance intimacy and build trust.

Our first book about heart-centered communication – 1996 

Our second book about enlightened conflict resolution – 2004

Personal responsibility for your own feelings is also essential to keep your love alive. Blaming your mate for the way you feel can be toxic. It’s inarguable that misunderstandings, disagreements, upsets and arguments are predictable and recurrent in even the best relationships. And when upsets occur, sudden reactions can erupt. If you can look deeper than the obvious, it becomes evident that the upset itself is grist for the mill and provides an ideal means for accelerated growth and healing, provided the appropriate tools and willingness are present.

We have written books about both communication and conflict resolution. We offer courses that teach how to transform your consciousness about relationships and to commune with your own soul and the soul of your partner. We facilitate emotional renewal that helps couples complete the unresolved past that has been recycling itself in the guise of power struggle, frustration, anger and hurt. All this goes a long way in preventing wound re-enactment that comes from unresolved childhood issues or previous trauma. We teach our students both the art and the science of soulful relating.

Our Wish for You Is . . .

From our ‘prime directive’ to keep the love alive, we have been able to articulate a new paradigm for what romantic love can be. We have enjoyed a remarkable career as educators, coaches and innovators in our field. We are pathfinders with a keen interest in the deepest nature of the soul and its creative impact on a person’s sense of self and their relationships of all kinds, at home, at work and in community.

We have learned to get to the heart of relationship problems with remarkable speed, saving our clients time in growing beyond their relationship troubles. A frequent comment about our work is that we help people feel safe to grow beyond barriers they didn’t know they had.

Celebrating at the graduation ceremony for our students’ completion of the 6 month Accelerated Personal Evolution Program in San Diego – 1987

Connecting in love across time and space.

Over the years of working with thousands of people, we have developed a fine-tuned ability to observe deep unconscious patterns that drive unwanted behavior dynamics. This allows us to provide the same practical, real world solutions that we use in our own relationship.

Our wish for you is that you feel a growing confidence in your ability to transform your pain and suffering into insight and that you see a path out of any confusion or despair you still carry from your past. Never underestimate the new-found power that comes from a soulful and evolutionary way of thinking about romantic love. The kind of love in which you feel free to be true to yourself and to remain true to your intimate partner without the friction of power struggle or unhealthy sacrifice.

​Our Love Story ~ An Enduring Mystical Romance!

We met in 1976 in a beautiful Victorian house in San Francisco, which served as a center for healing and spiritual studies. We both volunteered in the office and had known each other in a casual way for about three months, when something remarkable happened.

Let us set the scene for you . . .

A team of volunteers had gathered to put out a big mailing.

Layne and a group of eight others were seated around a large table, laughing and chatting as they set up the assembly line. Paul walked through the door and his eyes began to scan the room. His gaze connected with Layne’s just at the moment she looked up.​

Instantly it was as though an invisible switch had been turned on and a surge of energy was ignited between us. Believe it or not, there was a tunnel of light between us. We felt powerless to look away as our bodies started pulsing with the energy. We were locked in a timeless moment that would change our lives forever.

Something sacred and beautiful was being touched, though we didn’t have words for it. Everyone else in the room seemed to fade away. All that existed for us was the corridor of light that joined us in a feeling of unspeakable love and recognition. It was a moment of magic and mystery, and then it was over as suddenly as it had begun. It was as if some great hand turned off the switch and we both fell back into “normal” reality. Everyone in the room was staring at us.

A feeling of self-conscious embarrassment followed for both of us as Paul took a seat next to Layne at the table. We both tried to collect ourselves even though we were still reeling from the experience. We looked deeply into one another’s eyes. The same question was blazing in both our minds, “What was that and what does it mean?”

That moment signified the beginning of our romantic adventure. Young though we were, we had both had enough experiences of good love gone bad to realize that our love would wither and die if we didn’t do things a lot differently than we had in our previous relationships. Rather than thinking we knew what it would take to have our love grow and last, we acknowledged that we DID NOT know.

Our wedding day in Hawaii ~ 1980

So, with an attitude of wonder, armed with the strength of our new experience of love, we set about our relationship as an experiment.

Our relationship is very complex and very close. We are best friends, lovers, marriage and business partners, teaching colleagues and creative collaborators. Our life and relationship together has not always been easy or predictable. Frankly, there have been times when we wondered if we were going to make it. But, our love has endured, grown stronger and matured.

Over the ups and downs of the last forty years, we have grown wiser together and we have been true to our original  purpose, which was and is, to bring out the best in one another. The relationship we have created is beyond anything we could have imagined back on that fateful day when our souls recognized one another. For us, the experiment has been and continues to be a triumphant path to an even greater love.

It would be enough if the love we shared was ours alone to keep, but we have been blessed with abundant opportunities to share the secrets we have discovered with others. We have had the privilege of traveling and teaching in many places around the world – throughout North America, Europe, Japan, Russia and Central America. Now we are fortunate to be able to reach even more people in more places through the power of technology, the Internet and the World Wide Web.

​What Colleagues and Clients Are Saying . . .

. . . you are going to love these people because you will know they love you!

Once in a while, you come across some people who are so special that it actually makes you feel like there are people who are sent here to help other people. Paul and Layne are like angels as far as I’m concerned.

T. Harv Eker Author NYT Bestseller, Secrets of the Millionaire Mind

And I didn’t realize that there are certain skills that could dramatically affect the quality of my relationships. And learning those skills changed much of what was going on around me, not just from the romantic side and the family side, but from the business side.

And I didn’t realize that there are certain skills that could dramatically affect the quality of my relationships. And learning those skills changed much of what was going on around me, not just from the romantic side and the family side, but from the business side.

. . . each significant relationship has seen major improvement

I came to Paul and Layne in the midst of a failing marriage, but my work has gone much beyond my relationship. I have gained such clarity and distinction on not only my relationship with my wife, but my relationship with myself.

Scott Blanchard VP of Blanchard Training

I have learned how to let go of that which is not working and to focus on what I can offer to myself and to the world. In the past year, each significant relationship in my personal and professional life has seen major improvement.

I feel like my heart and eyes have not only opened up to new possibilities but moved towards making new, incredible possibilities a reality!

. . . their expertise cut through to the heart of the matter

I have been a client of Paul and Layne’s coaching in both private and group coaching. Their expertise in cutting through to the heart of the matter has provided deep healing and I have gained a sense of personal power in a whole new way.

Jan Stringer – Bestselling Author, Coach
Business Intuitive

. . . Paul & Layne’s relationship work has been the most helpful we have found

We have found Paul and Layne’s relationship strengthening work to be the most significant and helpful we have ever encountered. In fact, their Heart to Heart Talks process has been the major tool in our relationship tool box for keeping our marriage a healthy, juicy and happy place!

Michael Dowd & Connie Barlow – NYT Bestselling Authors, Conscious Evolution Activists