Deep Listening – A Secret Key to Better Relationships

This week's post is another recorded conversation between Paul and Layne, the second in a series of conversations entitled, 10 Key Abilities for Building Successful Relationships.

Today we talk about the importance and power of deep listening in relationships. Listening is one of the most important of all communication skills, yet so many people seem to have trouble really listening without being distracted or interrupting. We discuss common listening mistakes and the unintended, predictable and often painful consequences of not paying attention when someone is speaking to us.


Successful and lasting relationships are built on certain skills, and knowing how to listen with a quiet mind when someone is speaking to you is a paramount skill. You have probably had the experience of talking to someone and you know they're not really listening to you. How does it make you feel when that happens? And what do you usually do when it does?

On the flip side of this scenario, have you ever had the experience of being in a conversation with someone and you suddenly realize you haven't actually heard what they said? When that happens it's usually because you were busy listening to the voice in your head (which may have been commenting on something they said or something else entirely) instead of paying close enough attention to the speaker to be able to respond to them coherently.

One of the first things we did very early on in our relationship was to practice communication exercises that taught us how to listen deeply without distraction. What we learned from those exercises has become a cornerstone of our relationship and informs the way we regularly communicate. In fact, we expanded on those exercises and wrote a book about them called Straight From the Heart.

Right Click Here or the eAudio MP3 graphic below and select Save Link As to download to your computer or simply click the player below to listen now:

Length - 14 minutes

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