Longer Together Than Apart
Layne and Paul’s Wedding Day – April 20, 1980
We celebrated our 28th wedding anniversary a week ago Sunday, on April 20. We were married at the Walker Estate on Oahu on what turned out to be a beautiful day. It had rained earlier and we feared it might not stop or the ground might not dry in time. But, everything turned out perfectly.
Our photographer spied us when we slipped away from the festivities to have a moment alone to connect and breathe in what we had just done, promise to be there for each other from here on out. Our purpose has always been to bring out the best in each other. We have also attempted to live by a definition of love we learned from Stewart Emery. Stewart was the first trainer for EST after Werner Erhard and the founder of Actualizations, a training in the Bay Area in the ’70’s. Steward was Layne’s trainer in EST in 1972 and we were both in his Actualizations Training.
Anyway, Stewart defined true love as a love that is more intent on the object of your love realizing their full potential, regardless of the consequences to you, the lover. I’m paraphrasing here, but that is the essence of his thought.
We both forgot our anniversary was coming until our dear friends called and asked us what we were going to do! Since that was the weekend we were scheduled to have the tree people come plant large trees in our yard, we decided what we were doing was giving each other a forest for our anniversary!
We now have a new 12 foot Ponderosa Pine in our south yard, making three – and a few new pinons, as well. And we realized a few days afterward, as we were enjoying the new foliage, we have now been together longer than we have been apart. That is both a sobering and a comforting thought.