This is the stage where people start testing each other. It is one of the most difficult stages for people. Who is going to get whose way and how? Distrust from your unresolved past manifests, there is often a fear of loss of control and heavy judgments of the other person start to show up. Many relationships never move beyond this stage and many end here. This stage is really about building trust.
This is the stage where you learn to trust one another and to resolve upsets to your mutual satisfaction and benefit. You learn to share power and appreciate each other’s unique abilities and gifts. However, it is still self-oriented: “What can I get out of this relationship?” rather than “What can we create with this relationship?” Beware of false cooperation in which one person acquiesces to the other in order to “keep the peace.” This is still power struggle, only in a more subtle form.
Speech acts to learn and master:
Avoid:
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